By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

---"The Solution" from The Loving Parent Guidebook (published by Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families)

Complex Childhood Trauma is a complicated and delicate subject to approach for the adults who survived it. Aside from the intense discomfort that emerges when reminded of some of the most harrowing accounts of continuous abuse, we live in a society founded on ideologies that created the historical/intergenerational/societal trauma we endured as children. Ideologies that were written by European colonialism that attempted (and continues to attempt) to suppress and eliminate BIPOC and LGBT+ people, using tactics to not just erase our cultural norms, spiritual practices, and our rich history but to strip us of our sense of identity and overall humanity.

In terms of the Black community, this happened to our enslaved African ancestors. They were the first to be psychologically, cultually, emotionally, physically, racially, and spiritually affected by the symptoms that derived from forced indocrination into White Supremacy. Those very symptoms proceeded to sicken BIack communities throughout generations, the conditions worsening as this ideological affliction steadily intefered with our ability to love and accept each other and ourselves unconditionally. The Black family was the most affiicted, as each member was heavily influenced by the White colonialism that gave rise to what we now know as the dysfunctional Black family. Unfortunately, countless Black and LGBT+ survivors of complex childhood trauma interacted with relatives that inflicted unecessary harm onto them as children, the abuse fueled by the adults' lack of awareness and inability or unwilliness to dismantle their own trauma. And because the adults didn't possess the tools to heal, the child didn't either. And while some of these children managed to break the cycle of dysfunction by successfully cultivating a life dissimilar to their upbringing, most survivors ultimately evolved into children living in adult bodies who subconsciously repeated the same destructive behaviors endured in the past.

Before I entered the virtual rooms of Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous (ACA), I wasn't aware of most of what I just shared with you. I knew I was raised in a dysfunctional familial community and was deeply affected by the decades of violence I underwent. But it wasn't until I was placed in the position reconnecting with my Internal Family System (IFS), or parts of me, that I realized how far the rabbit hole my history with trauma descended. And, for my own sake and that of my parts, I needed to make sense of what all that happened. And the only way I can do so is to write about it. The creation of this platform is the result.

The Chronicles of the Fellow Traveler revolves around my complicated, yet rewarding/necessary journey of navigating my own history with Complex Childhood Trauma using information gathered about the Internal Family System (IFS) model, Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous (ACA), and doing so as a survivor who is also Black and Transmasculine and a person with a host of other intersections. In each post, I'll not only be discussing what I've learned about and through the IFS model and ACA, I'll be talking about everything from my experiences with reconnecting with my Inner Parts to what life was like while being in the closet. Because each topic will be examined through an intersectional lens, I'll also be covering information about the multiple forms of discrimination that reshaped and redefined the sense of self and identity of Black queer children and how various industrial complexes systematically attempt to undermine Black queer survivors' opportunity to heal. In other words, I'll be discussing all the ways the systems makes certain that we BIPOC LGBTQIA+ people remain in bondage.

The Perks: Resources

Knowing me and my mind works, I can tell you that I have many stories to share that revolve around the adversity I faced as a Black queer trans child, as well as around the injustices BIPOC LGBT+ people face on the regular. But since joining ACA and being introduced to the IFS model, I'm learning to also become more aware of the solutions and this often involves heavily relying on the various healing modalities that continue to help me remember my humanity. And I know I'm not alone, which is why I created the following catagories:

Bilbliotherapy. According to Psychology Today, this modality allows survivors to use literature alongside traditional therapy as a means to understand and navigate their past trauma and encourage them to consider solutions to overcome obstacles that resulted. The titles listed span across genres and catagories, beginning with Children's literature. Most of the books are written by BIPOC and LGBT+ authors and I'd rather keep it that way as much as I possibly can, though I'll be adding other titles written by non-BIPOC/LGBT+ authors.

Playlists. Aside from literature, music and podcasts are also modalities used by Complex Childhood Trauma as a means to connect with our emotional state, understand ourselves and others, and to manage mental mental episodes of depression and anxiety. I've created a playlist consisting of audio media that promote racial, political, spiritual, and personal empowerment, as well as just fun. In addition, I've listed a series of blogs and websites to visit to gather more information covering an array of topics. Speaking of topics, I added a YouTube video playlists for the more visual learners.

There's the Trauma-Informed Resources page that lists any helpful articles, blogs, and websites I come across. And if y'all know of any, please let me know and I'll be sure to add it to the list. Meanwhile, I'll definitely keep y'all posted on any other thing that shows up on the blog. And another thing before I continue: though The Chronicles of the Fellow Traveler can be read by anyone, everything I write or discuss will center Black LGBT+ complex childhood trauma survivors.  

And lastly, there's the ACA Info. This section is for those who are interested in learning more about the Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous (ACA) program and what it all entails. I added links that'll direct folks to the official ACA website.

The Chronicles of the Fellow Traveler was created with a labor of love and with the hope that everything posted is a valuable resource for Complex Childhood survivors--especially Black LGBT+ Complex Childhood survivors looking to understand, navigate, and unlearn the White Supremacy idealogies we've internalized. I also hope that the information provided help those who visit reconnect and cultivate a relationship with their Inner Child/Teen/Adult rooted in grace and unconditional radical self-love. If any of that happens, then it doing what it was designed for.

I know I just wrote an About piece long enough to be an introduction to a memoir, but I wanted to make sure I covered all I needed to do. If you made it all the way to the end, I thank you for doing so. I really appreciate it and you.

Safe travels,

Louis J. Mason, Creator of The Chronicles of the Fellow Traveler